Here's Wise County, Texas:

And here's the latest (sigh) chupacabra sighting from Texas, and thus, the latest Internet sensation, found on a golf course:

The explanation, according to this report, is of a denuded young raccoon. Interestingly enough, a similar case appeared of an otherwise normal hairless raccoon reported by Kentucky Fish and Game officials (see pg. 7 of this PDF!). The beast, shown below, was found around Somerset, Kentucky:

Coincidence? Or part of a growing conspiracy to discredit evolution? After all, the living 'raccoon' was found in the same state as Dayton and the Answers in Genesis 'Creation Museum':

In case you don't know, Dayton, Kentucky is where the original 'monkey trial' showdown of Darrow and Bryan took place, with a chilling effect on science education. To cap it off, the most famous 'creation scientist' of Kentucky origins is none other than former Bryan College (Dayton) professor (and Answers in Genesis consultant) Kurt Wise:

Wise, the 'creation scientist'?

County Texas chupacoons?

A coincidence??!?!?

I think not! Texas, after all, has some State Board of Education members who would love to find a few chupacoons to put in the textbooks. Why not the incredible insights of giant raccoon flatulence theory, which in turn is the fault of none other than Carl Zimmer. (Shame on you, Carl!) And there is this remark by J.B.S. Haldane about rabbits. Hey, raccoons and rabbits are both mammals! And they both begin with the letter 'r'!

Those are simply too many coincidences. Clearly, there is a great revelation coming. This supposed 'hairless raccoon' is no doubt been planted as a 'missing link' by Kentucky-based creationists which, after being put out there in Texas, will be revealed as a 'fake', thus putting egg on the face of every evolutionist in the Lone Star State. Hey, I know it's true, I read about it on the Internet.


Anonymous said...

What an embarrassing post.

So you found a Dayton, Kentucky (I guess that's what happens when you do 'internet' research) and know you somehow think that's where the 1925 Scopes Trial took place...rather than in Dayton, Tennessee!

Let's hope you are more careful in your high school biology class than you are with geography or history...


Scott Hatfield . . . . said...

Dude, this was a spoof. Did you actually think that I believe that such a conspiracy exists, or that Carl Zimmer is actually responsible for anything Ann Coulter says? Do you think I really believe there are chupacabra, or that scammers would actually choose a particular Texas county because it shares it's name with a creationist?

If so, well, I can't help you. Hilarious!