4/03/2009

! ! ! !

Now, here's a polished submission to our local paper's opinion pages:
Now, here's a polished submission to our local paper's opinion pages:

'Now under way'

Friday, Apr. 03, 2009

Comrades, good news from the D.C. front: Our fearless leader, Barack the Magnificent ("I am the state!") Obama, the Anointed One, reigns supreme and the glorious workers' revolution is now under way.

Comrades, listen! Progress comes through class struggle and conflict! It is a new day of societal utopianism. The Ministry of Propaganda assures us that the worker's paradise is now upon us! Workers unite! Our time is now! Collectivism is good! The re-education camps are now ready!

The individual is only a tool of the state! Property is theft! Capitalism is bad! Your wages and monies will be benevolently expropriated for the "good of others" -- "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."

All peons are equal but those who rule are more equal than others!

T.C. Morgan

Fresno



Well, TC, it seems to me that your letter lacks sufficient exclamation marks.

Try the following: Listen! I have the Truth! I may be the last Christian! Strict! Constructionist! Free! Market! Pro! Life! Conservative! Gibbering! Irony! Challenged! Wackaloon! Left! Standing!

Any questions?

NO, Question marks are for liberals! Exclamation! Point!
Now, here's a polished submission to our local paper's opinion pages:

5 comments:

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

Morgan's op-ed letter sorta reminds me of Anonymous's bizarre comment on your blog late last month.

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

All peons are equal, but those who rule are more equal than others!

You reckon the Fresno Bee is desperate for publishable op-ed letters?

Scott Hatfield . . . . said...

Actually, he/she is a regular contributor to their pages, and has been for years. He/she even has special envelopes with some of his/her positions spelled out, ending with 'Any questions?' He/she once sent me a fairly thick piece of conservative talking points in just such an envelope. So my bit of mockery wasn't just aimed at their most recent letter, but by their entire self-identifying persona.

CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...

You're acquainted with him/her then?

Scott Hatfield . . . . said...

Only his/her ideas, and how he/she likes to present them.